Sea Giggler Pillows

'Okay, whose bright idea was it to invite the termites?'

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

Hardy Annuals

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Beginning Yarder.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Yard Sale

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"What are you in for?"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

'Where are you going?'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

Balding gnomes

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

Swinging through the jungle.

Now THAT, my friend, is a beer garden!