Sea-faring Socialite Gifts

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

Health organizations doubt the benefits of skiing holidays.

"Imogene is just back from an extended trip through the Navajo country."

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

Directions to the Bar.

'Hello! I don't believe I've bored you yet...'

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

'Quite frankly, I don't know how this sweet, gentle, multi-millionaire husband of yours puts up with it.'

'You look like a fun guy!'

'He follows your tweets. That's how God knows everything you do.'

Oh no! Here comes another lecture on the joys of loft living!

"Welcome, comadres, to this first meeting of the Very Wise Latina League!"

Sermon Today: Include God In Your Next Selfie.

"This martini in canonical."

"I shall never forget Roger."

"You're welcome to stay, but the household goes all nude after 9pm."

'Sorry, man. It's just hard to be friends with someone lower on the food chain.'

Bargoyles

"Fun-sponge."

Golf club to putter: 'Leave the driving to us.'

"Is he bothering you?"

'Don't bother Daddy — he just got blackballed from the Hanseatic League.'

". . . and so the wife says to me. . . Earl she said, you really have to stop talking to strangers."

'Please meet my dear wife, my very dear wife.'

Beggar playing for money, will stop for more money.

"Believe me.... it's times like these that your pedigree comes into question!"

OPTIMISTS' CLUB, 'They said they never expected ME to show up.'

"Some calls came in while you were out, Miss LaVie."

Pensioner zimmer parking outside of Darby and Joan Club

'Mr. Charles Borlin and friend...'