Scripture Scene-stealer Pillows

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'They all want to play the star.'

World Tour.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

Buzzfeed does The Bible: 10 commandments that will blow your mind.

"Although the depiction of gangland activity in this film is not accurate over all, I would like to go on record as saying that I am not entirely displeased with Mr. Robert De Niro's portrayal of a gentleman whom I take to have been a former associate of yours truly."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

"Maybe you're right. Maybe the multiple exclamation points come across as over excited and insincere."

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

Euthanasia Clinic

'But everybody does that stuff!'

A monk illuminating a book with quill pen

"... And the cold foam cascara nitro goes to Lazarus!"

'Please hold any incoming personal calls for me. I need to disappear into character for a while!'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

"Quit worrying about corroborating your sources - it's not as if anyone's going to take all this literally."

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

'When will they come out in papyrus-back?'

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

"That is six feet."

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

'I love appearing on stage. My only regret is that I can't be in the audience to fully appreciate my work.'

"This is a hard hat area."