Script Curator Pillows

I'll be honest, Jerry - When you invited me to join your book club, this is not what I expected.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

Letter Collecting Nerd

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

Mensa Does Improv

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Hollywood producer.

Hollywood producer.

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

'Hang on a minute...'

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Athens Playhouse. Euclid is rehearsing a play he wrote about lust, money and lies. Investment Sales Office. Don't be obtuse! Face each other from this angle! He's a tough director. It's surprising that Euclid, the father of geometry, wrote about passion, money and deceit. I thought so too, until I read the script. It's a story about a pyramid scheme and a love triangle!

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

"Dad, why do they tell actors to "break a leg?""

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

Actor practising his indian war crys

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

"Don't forget the screenplay."

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"That movie was very familiar...a cute little girl who hangs out with monsters from a secret world."

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"