Screenwriting Mugs

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Cow Writers Block.

Martin Scorsese.

'CHICK-FLICK' MALE LEAD CHARACTER ARC.

Write a Screenplay

Hacked Dreams

Welcome to ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? Theatre

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"That script of yours - I've never read such a load of cliched second-rate crap...It'll make us rich..."

In the screenwriters guild, Secretary is the most coveted position.

"People, we're writing a reality show. Use some imagination!"

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

Orson Welles

Modern publishing.

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

"Your script is fresh, imaginative, innovative, and groundbreaking. Now all you need to do is tweak it into a version of a proven blockbuster or an old TV sitcom and we'd love to green-light it."

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

Hollywood producer.

"The story is stupid, the characters are unreliable and the senseless special effects will eat up millions. Well, I guess we've got a real blockbuster!"

"I'm perfect for the screenwriter's job. And if you don't like my résumé, I've got 12 more with alternative endings!"

Irvine Welsh

Quentin Tarantino

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

Hollywood director.

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Woody Allen

The laugh track refuses to work, but I can't see the problem."

Christopher Nolan caricature

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"And the award for best script adapted from a text message or tweet goes to..."

"How come I never get a copy of the script?"

John Osborne

"... but when the broadcasting company sent him $5,000 for his first script we laughed out of the other side of our mouths."

Al Pacino