Screenplay Writer T-Shirts

"I've got a little job for you, Kretchmer. I want you to infiltrate the I.R.S. and sow the seeds of compassion."

Aliens bring their pet humans to the veterinary

"It's conceivable that I'd give you my phone number. It's also conceivable that an alien will burst out of my stomach and go on a killing rampage. Spoiler alert: only one of those things is going to happen."

"I'm an anti-masker."

Dear Diary

"Less talking, more abducting."

Spiderman figures out how to wear a mask over a mask

"I've never been this excited about an anal probe before!"

The Sting Operation

"We want you to have fun too."

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"

"Yeah, I wasn't thinking. I should have rented a tandem bike for this quest."

"Okay, who can tell me what he did wrong?"

"It's time you started thinking about your future, young man ... "

Attack of the killer snails!

Astronauts playing badminton in space

A Close Encounter

Puss in Heels

Snow Shark

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Irvine Welsh

Goldilocks and the 3 bears

"You caught it, you probe it."

Trump on the capitol dome

Liv Ullmann

"Oh, my God! It's alive with the sound of music."

3d printer

gangster concrete rolling

Medusa takes a selfie

"Go away."

2020 Productions Presents: The Walk

"Love me some Earth!"

The iPhone268s

Augustus Gluten

"I had to add another utility belt just for chargers."