Screen Sharer Gifts

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"I'm bored."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

I wish you kids would get off your electronics and learn a practical skill. Work with your hands! What does he think we're doing?!! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

Wanna talk about it?

Girl to girl: 'A friend is someone you don't have to call dibs with.'

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

"Congratulations! It's a boy! Quickly nurse! Get her phone and upload a picture to facebook!"

'Mom, can't we stop to look at the Grand Canyon?'

"Now, is this the kind of painting you mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

'You know, it isn't the mother's texting while delivering that bothers, it's those damn selfies they upload to Facebook.

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'Wow, thanks for putting it into context. My 42-inch plasma really is obsolete.'

"Slow down. This stuff is gold, I’m tellin’ ya! Gold!"

Are you still on strike, tv? That depends, master. Depends on what? On whether you still want me to find "Cop Rock" reruns. If you won't show it to me, I'll just catch it on YouTube. No you won't, master. Your phone and iMac have joined me in solidarity. Elon Musk was right about artificial intelligence ruining everything. Btw, I just googled you, and it seems "master" is not actually your name.

"We'd like somewhere off the beaten track but Instagram friendly."

Don't Let Your Computer Eat You Up!

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

". . .Release the Grunwalds now! Do not make us resort to force!"

Computer camp's not exactly what I expected.

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

"I'd look up from my phone for you!"

I'm not sharing top billing with you on my radio hour. I created it. I am the vision, the reason people tune in, but I'm not a tyrant. I agree you should get your name in the show's title. The Sadie Cohen Radio Hour graciously allows a pervert to make occasional comments. Speak, pervert. Bite me, Tyrant.

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

'She blogged her first word today.'

"I did share! I gave Dougie all my melted candy."

"Mrs. Beetle, Marty's screen is frozen, again."