Science Stand-up Mugs

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

Albert Einstein

'Teenagers!'

"Is it that bad?"

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

She loves to play with string theory.

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

The Origins of Everything

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

How Glaciations Begin

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

The new Physics

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

Evolution...the wifi rhino.