Science Show Fan Pillows

When you think about it, you have to be a complete idiot not to believe aliens crashed at Roswell in 1947. It's clear we reverse-engineered their tech. Before 1947: Primitive cars, planes and radio. After 1947: Spaceships, quantum computing, internet. Let me try ... Before 1947: No bikinis. After 1947: Bikinis. No, wait ... the bikini was 1946. That throws this whole theory into question. We really should have our own science show.

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

'...and so you see our profits, not unlike Sir Isaac Newton, have felt the effects of gravity.'

Think Tank

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

Science Fair. How viruses spread.

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

"Actually, not all roses are red. Sometimes they're white as well as numerous other colours. Also I think you'll find that violets are sort of purple..."

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

When it comes to health issues, I'd rather listen to a physician than a spin doctor.

'Max really likes those genetic markers.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"When you think about it, you have to be a complete idiot not to believe aliens crashed at Roswell in 1947." "Before 1947: primitive cars, planes, and radio. After 1947: space ships, quantum computing, internet." "Let me try... Before 1947: no bikinis. After 1947: bikinis." "No, wait... The bikini was 1946. That throws this whole theory into question." "We really should have our own science show."

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

Just what is it that amoebas really want.

"This is Matt with your five day forecast, on location."

I think we may have genetically overmodified the tomatoes.

"Some dinosaurs died out more quickly than others" "You want some?"

"You've got to move. The bed is needed for another TV drama."

Large and hitherto uncatalogued life-form on the windscreen, Jim,

Probe? Don't be silly. Now, take a drink of this solution every 15 minutes until it's gone, and no food for 24 hours.

"So we've got the labcoats. Now we need a good excuse to wear them." The Birth of Science.

'I'm afraid our worst suspicions have been confirmed - we found slug, snail and a trace amount of puppydog tail.'

The brief collaboration between Alfred Nobel and Thomas Edison.

"She introduces herself as Drosophila Melanogaster, but everyone knows she's just a common fruit fly."

"I'm trying to cross a hen with a dog. . .For pooched eggs."

Scientist with test tube.

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

'More or less?'

Storm chaser van with satellite dish and Storm in a teacup chaser van with cup & spoon.

"Don't forget to send selfies."

'And then when I push this button it magnetizes the ions and...'

Life in The Halfassic Age

"When I was young, we used bottles, rocks and toothpicks for our school science projects."

"But I digress..."