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"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

'Dr. Worthington's seeing-eye cat experiment goes horribly wrong...'

'Yeah, he's something alright! Now you do know that if a Genetically Modified Organism gives you his seeds, he can sue you for copyright infringement?'

A drug manufacturer announced their scientists have discovered the profit gene.

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

The Food Chain

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"I'm going to get you fired."

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

So You've Cloned Yourself

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."

"Actually, I find his murky past rather attractive."