Schooling Pillows

'No, Adam, 'awesome' is not an acceptable choice of what you want to be when you grow up.'

'...And that should cover all my rules for the class.'

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'First, you have to get their attention.'

"Mr. Wickers called me 'gifted' in front of the whole class. I'm ruined."

'Son, your teacher told me that you're having trouble focusing and other things that I zoned out on...'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

"Now, remember, be the yourself we talked about."

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

Concert goers form a line to see The Mathematics.

'I am doing some retraining.'

'Watch out for her. She lets you do all the talking.'

'I know I can train them to be thoughtful productive citizens if I can ever get past sit.'

"Why in the world do they call this approach 'cooperative learning'?"

'I want you to text message 100 times, 'I will not text message in class.''

"Don't you worry about me. I'll be fine, as long as you keep working."

Glum parents read document. Woman says: 'The number of parents who can make any sense of league tables has fallen by 0.5 of a per cent.'

"The hardest part of homework is keeping my parents motivated."

'OK, it's a new season, so I want to see some hustle out there!'

In A Just World

Tuition fees.

"It's a note from the bus driver about sugar highs."

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

'How was school today?', 'Too much information!'

'How come the History Channel is so interesting and my history class is so boring?'

"When I was your age I had to carry a backpack that weighed a ton. You only have to carry a flash drive."

'Alex, you get a gold star. Colin, you get the, uhm, border around the stars.'

'Yes, I did accept an apple from my third-grader, Billy Smith, but there was no quid-pro-quo.'

'Of course, like everything for kids, some assembly is required.'

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'Our school computers are one year old. How can we be competitive in the job market if we're being trained on obselete equipment?'

"My virtual pet at my online report."

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.