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'My teacher says I'm an underachiever, but I think she's an overexpecter.'

"My teacher says to tell you I'm having trouble with my ears. Everything goes in one and out the other."

Truancy

'I don't think it was a very productive year for Ms. Read. We learned to use all twenty six letters, and she only learned to use the 'C'.'

'So? How'd your blood test go?' 'Somehow I got a D+!'

'This is outrageous. You should be in school.'

"The class would like you to sign this Ban Tests Treaty"

'Everybody's grades are down, Dad -- I think the school's having some kind of austerity program.'

Students getting marked letter grades on foreheads. 'It's the beginning of another marking period at Highland Community Schools.'

Principal's office has a cat flap for the students.

"Students...we had some changes over summer. The good news is our classroom size has been cut by 15 percent! The bad news...our desk budget has been cut by 40 percent!"

"I'm sure you would bring many things the school. Pupil funding being the most important."

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."