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'They meet in there. Some kind of support group.'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

"Oh well, if you really want to see some scary chest thumping, come with me now and I'll show my school report to my dad..."

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"When I said my teacher had no class I meant class was canceled."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

'They've all tested positive for stress.'

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

'I can understand you getting upset when they make fun of your little arms, but eating your classmates is not the answer.'

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

"Owww!! Yes, that hurts!"

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

"That's alright, I'll keep you company: I'm not in a hurry to get to school..."

'It's the new guidance counselor. He's lost.'

'...All I can say is, the judge was adamant about his gag order on the case.'

"Unruly, talking back, lack of respect...and that's just the parents."

'I don't think it was a very productive year for Ms. Read. We learned to use all twenty six letters, and she only learned to use the 'C'.'

"Before I begin, everyone must sign a non-disclosure agreement."

The City of Eden…in Fact - Martin Outside the 'Office' of Chuzzlewit & Co

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'