School Report Pillows

'I prefer to spend my time in less didactic pursuits.'

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

'Mistakes were made...'

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

'You could give it to your mom with a huge Valentine card.'

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

"You're a veteran, right grandpa? Maybe you can help me with my school report...what was General George Washington really like?"

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

"I must be out of memory"

'I'm very creative and creative people are not afraid to fail.'

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

"It's a note from my teacher...heavily redacted."

"Actually, Dad, the 'D' in math is from when you helped me with my homework."

"So this is why you ate your spinach and wanted seconds at dinner!"

The cake was great and the icecream was delicious, but deep down inside, he knew that some day his parents would discover that 'f' wasn't for 'fantastic', and then none of it would be worth it.

'But I thought you would be pleased-an 'A' plus in sex education,Dad!'

"I got a gold star for having the highest credit score in my class."

'Sure the grades are bad, but on the bright side I'm achieving consistency in my academic brand.'

"Here's my report card. If you have any questions I'll be sitting in the corner."

'You have vested interest in me. You should rescue yourself!'

'Can you say 'try the patience of a saint' in a note from a public school?'

"Here's my report card. You'll be glad to know passing math is now number one on my bucket list."

"Don't you worry about me. I'll be fine, as long as you keep working."

"I know my grades are straight 'Cs,' but don't I get some credit for consistency?"

"It's my school report, I've redacted the bits that might make you feel uncomfortable."

"The grades aren't my fault, Mom - The school has a failure of leadership."

"I'm looking for a Get Well card for my Mom. She's going to be sick when she sees my report card."

"I made a new year's resolution to bring home a report card I could be proud of, but Stephanie Hart wouldn't give me hers."