School Report Skeptic Pillows

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'I'd rather we don't mention this in the annual report.'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

'Ms. Peters, hold all calls. I'm busy implementing yet another hastily conceived and unproven education innovation.'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

What's your stupid opinion on the following...

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

"I've torn up the questionnaire but am using the lovely pen you sent me"

"My teacher says I lack 'intellectual curiosity,' whatever that is."

'This is just my part in the growing crisis in education.'

Unfortunately of the 78% of people who completed more than 56% of the survey 98% thought it was a complete waste of time

"Call me when you get some current stuff."

'The streets of Dodge City fell eerily quiet as the market researchers strode into town.'

Fish "I hate going back to school"

"Do you have a moment to be late for something you just made up?"