School Reform Champion Pillows

Public Schools

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'What's play?'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

Budget

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'Lessons have been learned.'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

New dunce caps

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Intellectual bigotry...Go ahead, blaspheme my holy scriptures, the media loves it...'

"No textbooks. I'm strictly Web-fed."

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

NO CRT

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'She's the only girl in her home economics class.'