School Meals Connoisseur Prints

'Hello - is that Jamie Oliver?'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"Quick swig first?"

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"Both the wine and I need to breathe, Albert."

"At least the anti-public education folks haven't started to try to dictate what we can have for lunch."

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

Non-wall St merger: Mom's Home Cooking...Pop's Cafe!

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

'The bouquet is reminiscent of rubber nose - but then, it always is...'

"Would you like to see a dessert menu or do you not need a little treat after each meal?"

'I'm NOT trying to break in and change my grades. I'm only trying to change the school lunch menu.'

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

WAITING ROOM

The Waiter

"Ça suffit, good buddy!"

"Would you like to see the wine list?"

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

"This wine is CORKED!"

"Got anything not so close to the kitchen?"

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'Don't overdo the mustard, sir -- we're trying to control costs around here.'

"Some fresh salad with your pepper, sir?"

"What kind of take-out are you in the mood for: overpriced or overrated?"

"She said this is not the same old alphabet soup, this one has a new font."

"Compliments to the chef. It really is superbly cooked!"

'I'm required to tell you that the wine you chose will be brought to you table in a jug.'

'I'll trade you, sight unseen.'