School Leaders Pillows

"I don't care that he's an e-commerce whatever. How dare he offer ME a job?"

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

Changing Minds

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

The best PE teacher in the World.

"Take us to your inclusive leader."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

'Long term I want student achievement to increase. Short time I want a cup of coffee and a biscotti.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

'For the next hour, hold all calls. I'll be practicing tumbling. I have to learn to roll with the punches.'

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

'He's researching out-of-state kindergartens.'

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

'It's not a designer pin. It's actually a medal the Principal gave me for backing up my hard drive.'

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

"It's the superintendent's idea of alternative dispute resolution."

'Ms. Peters, hold all calls. I'm busy implementing yet another hastily conceived and unproven education innovation.'

"Due to the expenses involved with making our schools more resistant to mass shootings, we re forced to make large cuts in teacher pay and benefits...and you will be required to carry this glock 9mm...."

'Come out of that cupboard. If you can't stand up to the class bully, who will? After all, you are the Headmaster...?'

'I'd like to run for class president but I don't want to put my family through a background check.'

Controversial Boxes

'I'm considering a run for class president. Do we have any skeletons in our closet I should first know about?'

'I understand the school has a policy of promoting from within, so I'd like to be considered for your job when you retire.'

"Take us to your bathroom."