School Fundraiser Pillows

'Let me get this straight. I buy six boxes of cookies and your class gets a trip to Paris!'

"I really hate to do this at work, but would you like to buy a candy bar to help support my kids' school activities?"

"We only got six days of funding."

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Yearbook

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

Face painting by numbers.

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Paul goes home for the holidays

"He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

King of Music.

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

The nonprofit dog fight.

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

"What are we doing wrong?"

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

"Relax, the vicar's surrounded the place with mouse traps."

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fund raiser."

"I do a lot for charity but I don't like to talk about it. . ."

Professional Fund Riasers