School Fundraiser Pillows

'Let me get this straight. I buy six boxes of cookies and your class gets a trip to Paris!'

"I really hate to do this at work, but would you like to buy a candy bar to help support my kids' school activities?"

"We only got six days of funding."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

Face painting by numbers.

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Paul goes home for the holidays

"He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

King of Music.

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

The nonprofit dog fight.

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

"What are we doing wrong?"

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

Our eco-prom theme is "Jungle Paradise." Decorations will be live plants. I see where this is leading. Can you bring in trees and bushes for the night? Sure. But

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

"Relax, the vicar's surrounded the place with mouse traps."

Appeals