School Escapists Pillows

Last day of school.

"As you leave this year behind, remember you did your best to soar with eagles, to be the best you can be, best of luck, my honorable students."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

'I pretended to be religious to get a place at this convent.'

Virtual Lap Dancing

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

As I understand it, if the ancient Greeks had had television to watch and video games to play, we wouldn't be stuck with all this stupid geometry.

Back to school anchor

Please wait to be yelled at.

'I won't be at school anymore, my head is full.'

"I'll probably never be able to cast knowing glances."

'Uh, Molly...Who's your little friend?'

Bank Student Loan Dept. You're only repaying a small fraction of your student loans? Yeah, because at this point I've forgotten almost everything I learned in college.

Teacher's Lounge

'We had quite a fire drill at school today -- there was looting.'

"In many Latin American countries, Columbus Day is celebrated as 'Dia de la Raza.' In The Bahamas, it's called 'Discovery Day.' In Argentina, it's known as 'Day of the Americas.'"

Inattentive Boy

'I'll tell you why math is important - it lets us count the days till school's out!'

'My daughter can't come to school today - I have a hot nose!'

'That's the plan then, gang. We all move in with Bruno on bath nights!'

Back to School Jitters

"Two more days and school's out for summer! No more homework, no more tests, no more teachers..."

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

One thing I'll always be thankful for is that I got here before there were any SATs.

"We had to clean out our desks today, so I cleaned out my brain while I was at it."

For days when students are simply out of control, teachers at Callaway Junior High are equipped with ejection seats and parachutes.

"I like coming to school. It's the seven hours before I go home that are unbearable."

"Your babysitter just rang, she wants to know where you keep your condoms?"

Learn While You Hibernate.

"When are you going to admit that you're a procrastinator?"