School Escapists Pillows

Last day of school.

"As you leave this year behind, remember you did your best to soar with eagles, to be the best you can be, best of luck, my honorable students."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'I pretended to be religious to get a place at this convent.'

Virtual Lap Dancing

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

Back to school anchor

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

'I won't be at school anymore, my head is full.'

'We had quite a fire drill at school today -- there was looting.'

Teacher's Lounge

'Uh, Molly...Who's your little friend?'

"I'll probably never be able to cast knowing glances."

Inattentive Boy

"In many Latin American countries, Columbus Day is celebrated as 'Dia de la Raza.' In The Bahamas, it's called 'Discovery Day.' In Argentina, it's known as 'Day of the Americas.'"

Back to School Jitters

'That's the plan then, gang. We all move in with Bruno on bath nights!'

'I'll tell you why math is important - it lets us count the days till school's out!'

"Two more days and school's out for summer! No more homework, no more tests, no more teachers..."

'My daughter can't come to school today - I have a hot nose!'

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

One thing I'll always be thankful for is that I got here before there were any SATs.

"I like coming to school. It's the seven hours before I go home that are unbearable."

"We had to clean out our desks today, so I cleaned out my brain while I was at it."

"Your babysitter just rang, she wants to know where you keep your condoms?"

Learn While You Hibernate.

"When are you going to admit that you're a procrastinator?"

Chuckie's test results come back negative.

"I swear Mum: I keep waving at the school-bus driver, but somehow, he never sees me..."