School Days Humorist Mugs

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

"A laser blaster turns pesky little boys into ferns! Now that would be a cool school supply."

Back to school: The Horror,

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

Welcome to algebra. As freshmen, you are the unknown variable X. After 32 years, I ask myself Y?

'By the second week of instruction all first-graders should be able to count to one.'