Scholarship Sleuth Pillows

British savings accounts

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Continuing education.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"So much for password protected."

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

Pinara fund

Scenes we'd most like to see...

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

Morton's pride was understandable. He was the first in the Pinhead Family to ever graduate.

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

"...Software upgrade provides a seamless transition from simple functionality to multi-platform confusion, chaos and frustration..."

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'