Scholar Of The Strange Mugs

'It doesn't matter that your thesis is on extra sensory perception, you can't cite mindreading in your references.'

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Life after death"

Too big to fail

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"What a way to go."

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

"I love college."

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

Thomas Carlyle

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'I'm not interested in what the paper is about, Dr Jones, I just want you to put me on the authors' list...'

The sixth college sense. 'I see debt people.'

"The doctors...say...they've never...seen...another case quite...like...it."

'I'm worried that if I study too hard, I couldn end up being a teacher.'

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

'Of course this scribble doesn't make any sense. Why do you think the critics call it an intellectual masterpiece?'

"Why can I only cross 'right' or 'wrong'? What about 'I don't care', 'I don't give a damn' or 'How should I know'?"

'Wake up - the dolphin has stolen our palm tree'

Sex and Violence....Hell and Brimstone.

Locally Grown by a Guy with a Masters in Philosophy

"Mr. Jerry Springer - have I got something for you!"

"Hello Ma'am! Have you ever looked at other shark owners and thought 'Why not me?'..."

This week in tentacles

The SAT test can wear you down.

Woman scared of bug

Man with mousey nose running a health food store

This department will not countenance the back stab.