Schlock Aficionados Prints

"His schlock has gravitas."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

Detective and child follow footprints using magnifying glasses.

Complete the jigsaw puzzle of your life

"That's hardly necessary!"

Illogic Tree

'It doesn't take much to please him these days.'

Monster Clown

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"Get out here Phil! The outside ideas are far better than the inside ones were!"

"I didn't say he's dying from choking. I said he's killing us with his joking."

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

'My Master is easy to follow - He's wearing odd socks!'

'You were hot in bed last night.' 'I know, I should have taken my socks off.'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Celebrity anagrams: Is a salt water rat (Answer: Alastair Stewart)

"So. . . how long have people NOT been laughing at you. . . ?"

Puzzle Family

"Inside me there's a juggler struggling to get out."

Why clown agents shoul never hide in the WC

Agatha Christie

'Mmmm. How do you get the custard so creamy? You must give me the recipie!'

'I'm sorry, but we're letting all of you go. Your jobs have been outsourced to India.'

'I decided I need something to draw the eye away from my bald patch.'

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

Sharing the load.

Jigsaw puzzle shaped speech balloons.

'Ok lads, this is no laughing matter...!'

"Now you're thinking outside the box!"

'This must be your son - I can see the resemblance.'

"Dr. Lutz is the city's top funny bone man."

"I'm leaving you, Al. And I'm taking my mother and the cats with me." "Laughing on the outside, laughing on the inside."