Schedule Jockey Pillows

'I'm sorry, Dad, but upon looking at my calendar, I'm not going to be able to squeeze in your quality time this week.'

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

Rocking Horse

A day at the transgenic races

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Gamers

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'I sense we might be having a problem with our appointment scheduling.'

"Do I have many meetings today?"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

"Hey look, my To Do list! I haven't been able to find this for weeks!"

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

Gentlemen Riders

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

First past the post.

"I'd love to spend more time with you, Jason, but you're not on my fall schedule."

'Am I the first one here?'

If I can have your attention, gentlemen- we have a heavy schedule.

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

Horse racing puns

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

Summertime... When you go zero to 'booked up' in 3.5 seconds

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'He's really very busy but you can wait.'

Sporting maladies.

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

"We can't turn back the clock. Trust me, I tried. It really messes up your schedule."

Outstanding Time Management

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'