Scent Critic Prints

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

Aromatherapy for Men

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'It's nice to meet you Otto. Your scent precedes you.'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Overpowering perfume

"Great Perfume!"

"Uh-oh,...she smells another dog in my portfolio..."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"What pheromone are you using?"

"Why waste money on perfume when his favorite scent is stuffed pork chops?"

'I say we back off: I can't smell fear at all...'

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

Dog fetching slippers with a peg on his nose.

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'