Scent Aversion Specialist T-Shirts

'Luck I forgot my deodorant this morning.'

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

Aromatherapy for Men

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

A consumer guide to cheese.

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

Overpowering perfume

'Maybe the stuff stinks.'

"Great Perfume!"

'Say what you like about the All Black scrum, but it's clearly the most fragrant and well groomed in the modern game.'

Dog fetching slippers with a peg on his nose.

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

"Why waste money on perfume when his favorite scent is stuffed pork chops?"

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

"Yeah, it's completely irrational, but the smell of freshly baked bread makes me salivate too..."

I miss that new planet smell.

Right, like you're the first shrink to recommend aromatherapy.

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'

"Mm, you smell terrif- ... no, wait. That's me."

LOVENUTS: 'We were irresistibly attracted to each other's smells,' says Jo-Jo.

Online articles are fine, but I miss being annoyed by the fragrance sample cards in print magazines.

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

'Do you like my new fragrance - It's called 'Surrender'.'