Scapegoat Storyteller Pillows

'Instead of trying to fix the problem, sometimes it's best just to step back and blame the system.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

The one that got away

'Are we there yet?'

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

Fishing with God

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

Fish talking about fisherman

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

'Son, I told you before: If you circle your prey for too long, you get dizzy...'

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

Scuba: 'You call that a knot, now this is a knot.'

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"He's a keeper!"

Octopus Puppet Show (colour)

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

'It was this big. I swear'

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.

'Where's the petty cash?'... 'It's in the box marked Pension Fund.'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

Angler poses with mermaid catch.

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

'I win!'

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

'To think we used to complain about a little flotsam and jetsam.'

'It's grossed over a billion dollars. Let's go see the Titanic wreck.'

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

'I'm afraid the motion has been carried and you lost.'

'Lucas A Non Lucendo.'

'Well, so much for whale-whispering.'