Scam Awareness Buff T-Shirts

"...and don't fall for that trunk enlargement scam."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

'We are in a race against time and the auditors. Gentlemen...start your shredders!'

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

"Julie...would you cancel my 4 o'clock please...?"

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

"Warning! Not to be used as a life saving device."

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

Black market trade in foodstuffs is thriving.

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

"It's easier to make 'em talk when you just cement the feet."

'I say we forget about these particular chickens...'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

'No, you can't fake your own death and leave all your money to yourself.'

'When it comes to our Boef flambe safety is paramount.'

Amateur Spam.

"I'm getting old. . . I only got 17 hate comments!"

'I baked it especially for you.'

'I'm taking a poll. Do you feel safe in your own home?'

"All right, which one stole your identity?"

Practicing for the lie detector test...'I have only $800 in the bank. I was never in Chicago. I know nothing about the dog food business.'

'Damn! I think the FCA have rumbled us.'

'Do not be alarmed... this is only a drill!'

'What shall I do with this mega fingerprint?'

'I got 5 years for something I didn't do. I didn't run fast enough. . .'

"Duck? No I ordered the beef."