Satirical Sheep T-Shirts

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"It's my helper trout!"

"Not enough money is being spent on safety, so be careful."

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"Wow, these are great cartoons! We have to let them go, and anyway, cartoonists are on the endangered species list..."

"If global warming is a left wing plot... it's a very good one."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"Sure, you can use the bathroom. But, you have to put your request in writing and send three copies to the personnel department."

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

Hook them with a crisis.

'How are the cloning experiments of shepherds going?'

"I talked Vladi into skipping the transition to democracy in his country and just shooting straight over here with me."

"I think that before we put the flat on AirBnb we should have moved out."

'And finally, sir, would you like your burger flipped by a Ph.D. in Philosophy, History or English Literature?'

Sheep-farts contribute to global warming...

"Now watch his reaction when I cough on him."

Hudson River Crouton

'Yes, they've kept it pretty close to the book.'

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

"You fight, you don't have sex—isn't it time you two tied the knot?"

'Welcome aboard Todd. Let me introduce you to the rest of the crew.'

The devil's profits.

'Let's go and lean against one of the vibrators.'

"It's adjusted for inflation. A dollar a chip."