Satirical Scripture Lover T-Shirts

"This place was a lot more fun before the dress code."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"Meet the scribe"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

Fishing with God

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"Have your people call my people."

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."