Satirical Savant T-Shirts

'It's cheaper than gas.'

The Ultimate Contract

'Now don't take this wrong, but it seems the whistling in your ears is just the wind blowing through your head.'

'That's funny, I'd like to go into politics too...'

'He got the job by constantly studying, MONKEY SEE-MONKEY DO'!'

'I like hopey, changey stuff myself, but it doesn't make good collateral.'

"Oh! I thought that was our party manifesto..."

Aeroflot, "Welcome aboard flight 451, possibly to Sverdlousk."

"Honestly! Syria, Egypt, Iraq! Is there anyone in the world who can actually make a decent effigy?"

"Finally! I can look at nude celebrity pics all day."

"I just got the sudden urge to open a Christmas Club account."

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

"We demand a safe space."

Failure is no an option: "I'd now like to speak on the topic of government bailouts!"

"Brad? That man would give you the shirt off his back--as long as he had another one on underneath."

"It's his first offense!"

"Papers late again, Murphy?"

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

Covid Inquiry

1040 Individual Tax Return 2020

Donkeys are highly intelligent, strong, and have a unique ability to assess situations and respond with caution and instinctual wisdom...

British savings accounts

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

'Apologists today said little white lies -- but not the big lie -- may have played a part in Iraq Policies....'

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"Nobody told me it was a dress down wedding day!"

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.