Satirical Meeting Planner T-Shirts

"How long did they say this meeting would take?"

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

Conference Pears

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

Meetings and Conventions - Warfare

"Jenkins, I think you'll find the 'Any Other Business' section at the end of the agenda."

'Time manager'

This site acquired for yet another housing development.

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'Gentlemen, circle around on the spot several times and be seated.' - At the dog AGM

'Motion seconded!' (golfers)

'I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. By the time we got around to booking the hotel was full and speaker we hoped to use died in 1967...'

Great coaching is about knowing how to give and when to play feedback...

Chapter 3. Andrew's scheme backfires.

"We are still hoping to add a few more details later."

"A parent/teacher conference? Let me check my schedule and I'll have my people get with your people."

Conference pears

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

'There are some gentlemen here who say that they want to drink your blood - do I show them in?'

Don't walk on the grass.

"The time management consultant called. He'll be a little late."

'Are there any further nominations?'

'Well I'd love to stay and chat, but this is one of those 'get things done' days.'

"We need a vacation..."

'I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, but...'

Annual Convention of Procrastinators: 'Where is everybody?'

"I thought about what you said and I've outlined a plan."

"I was going to discuss procrastination today, but I'm feeling rather tired. Maybe we could finish this off next week."

"This is called the 7:59 because it actually arrived at this time once...."

'Sure, I'll be glad to have a look at your toilet, Dr. Wimble -- Just bring it in two weeks from Thursday at 3:15.'

'Miss Wilkins, would you please have the meeting planner locate someone to second my motion?'