Satirical Education Advocate Pillows

"I'm shocked and appalled at fraudulent applicants bribing their way in here!"

Ethics exam cheater.

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

K-9 Garten

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"I try to keep my classes relevant."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

'Trevor, it's some gentlemen to see you about your student loan.'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

The Principal of Inertia.

'Think Basics.'

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

"...And you get hazardous pay for study hall periods."

I will not chew gum in class, even sugarless....

I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

Students renaming 'in' and 'out' trays with 'shake it all about'.

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."