Satirical Education Advocate Pillows

"I'm shocked and appalled at fraudulent applicants bribing their way in here!"

Ethics exam cheater.

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

"I try to keep my classes relevant."

K-9 Garten

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

'Trevor, it's some gentlemen to see you about your student loan.'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

I will not chew gum in class, even sugarless....

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

"...And you get hazardous pay for study hall periods."

Students renaming 'in' and 'out' trays with 'shake it all about'.

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

'Think Basics.'

The Principal of Inertia.

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.