Satirical Critique Enthusiasts Pillows

"Good question. Yes, we have your best interests at heart."

Life is for the birds.

Lesser known greek gods,

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cord cutter

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"She's a miniature."

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

"It's trickle down."

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

Standard & Poor

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

Jack in the box on strike.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"Neversource"

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'