Satire Seeker Prints

'Send this back to the legal department. I think they could make it much more complicated than this...'

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

'Kinda makes you wonder why we even bother to meet.'

"My parents sent back all my stuff that came from China."

"Did you ever start to do something and then forget what the heck it was?"

'This is the most positive thing I've done all year.'

'Company planning department'

Quality Control

Doctor, I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead. Don't believe everything you read on the net.

'Funny, every November, she always seems to find herself an overweight boyfriend with life insurance.'

'We don't have to keep up with the Joneses any more...They've filed for bankruptcy.'

Yesterday in this space I predicted that the world would come to an end. It did not, however. I regret any inconvenience this may have caused.

Fairy tales in pandemic time

Fat exerciser buying endorphins

"Just remember, if you give a hundred and ten per cent, I get twenty per cent of that."

'I've always managed to retain my humility, I'm proud to say.'

'And I want a load of those statins I read about that let you eat as many fatburgers as you like without getting a heart attack.'

'About this reference of yours, he worked for me for sixteen years, and when he left I was very satisfied.'

Society for Asking Stupid Questions

"Guess which one is the cell tower."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'A conflict of interest? But that's my favorite kind of conflict.'

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

'This policy has one exclusion - no payoff if civilization is destroyed by terrorism. However, in that event, all your premiums would be refunded.'

'Your lab tests came back. You're as strong as the U.S dollar. Don't worry, We have medications that can make you better.'

Meet the Enemy

Robert Maxwell, media tycoon, breaks open a piggy bank to raid pension money.

Illegal immigration...crossing the border.

You don't have to be crazy to work here. WE CAN TRAIN YOU.

Although the Weather Service hasn't predicted rain, certain indicators can't be ignored.

Virus Standup

'My staff are all legally entitled to work here but very few of them choose to.'

Dead Parrot, "Thought the elements for recovery are in place the Parrot does not have the feel good factor."

'Do you spell 'riddance' with one 'd' or two?'

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'