Satire Lovers Pillows

Don't mess with Connecticut

"You should relax less."

Nigel Farage as John Bull

Oversized Cigar

"I'm also returning these Ivanka Trump brand clothes. They chafe my morals."

"Does this make us bad parents?"

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'He said, 'in his professional opinion, his bill was not outrageous'. Then he billed me for that opinion.'

"Kids, your mother and I have spent so much money on health insurance this year that instead of vacation we're all going to go in for elective surgery."

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

"We need a fresh young face on the board. Simpkins, get some Botox injected."

'It was more of a 'triple blind' test. The patients didn't know which ones were getting the real drug, the doctors didn't know, and, I'm afraid nobody knew.'

'I channeled John Dewey. He says if you want to be a good teacher, don't teach reading and writing. Teach students.'

"My first choice, of course, is to solve things amicably."

'You're suffering from information overload. I'm going to give you some booklets describing the problem.'

'Ready with the implants, nurse?'

Haven't eaten caviar since the bailout.

'And Dubois, here, is in charge of due process.'

"The economy's never been better. Here's another potato!"

Lemonade Cleanse - $20 a glass.

'The way this works is that you say the first thing that comes to your mind...'

'We have one or two reservations about your application to adopt.'

"Well, I'm an optimist - I still think peace can be avoided."

National Health Service

"I'm happy to say that my final judgement of a case is almost always consistent with my prejudgement of the case."

Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely.

"This one's for not asking, and this one's for not telling."

"You're white.You don't understand my culture."

'My 4 year old granddaughter received a credit card application last week. I want to know why it wasn't ours!'

'Try to see things from my point of view.'

'And this is Mr Proctor, he manages the hospitals whistleblowing support team.'

'So, you're not currently taking any prescription meds? Well, we'll take care of that.'

'Ms. Avery left each one of you, ten million dollars...unfortunately, her estate is only worth seven dollars and sixteen cents.'

"I'm so glad you decided to participate in our Money for Employment program."

Mothers Without Borders