Satire Lover In Healthcare Pillows

"Doctor Smith your 12:30 pain in the neck is here."

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Providing Healthcare For All

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

'Time for your pills.'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"I feel your pain level."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'Don't worry. We still have a few more treatment options available.'