Satire Collector Gifts

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

Check-in - 'Did you pack this case yourself Sir?' (case full of money)

'I've got rotten teeth and you need glasses, ironic does not even cover it!'

"I am not a bully!!! Take it back! Say it while you can still speak!"

'Thank you for calling the beaver institute. All our representatives are busy, but what did you expect?'

"Describe the pain in my neck? Well, he's about five-foot-eight, bald, kind of dumpy.."

"This should take care of your high blood pressure. It's a prescription for relaxed fit jeans."

Punch and Judy wait outside marriage guidance consellor's office.

Slave Drivers.

Lord Palmerston asks Napoleon III why he does not move on the Popish organ grinder causing a disturbance outside the Hotel De L'Europe

'I'm concerned. I enjoy paying taxes.'

"That was me as a boy."

"Our planet has run out of cocaine."

'Don't be so sexist, sweet cheeks.'

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

"It's our 1040 form."

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

"Warren Buffet has said he and others who are wealthy like yourself should pay more taxes..."

'Well, your income looks good, and you've been on your job for over two years... but it seems you're 15 trillion dollars in debt.'

'If his chart dips down to 15 here, he'll start emitting a hellish, non-stop squeal.'

'I hope everyone saw the ATM installed in the entrance.'

"See that guy over there? Used to be a real headliner."

'Hiya, Ugly! Ever thought of cosmetic surgery for that face?' 'What IS your problem?'

"The jury will disregard the defendant's statement that he will donate 100% of his criminal earnings to the Concerned Mobsters for Eritrea Fund!"

Trump tries to get a McDonalds after losing the election.

"Hey, Kiddo! Anything about me in your paper?"

My boss is a real turd.

"Congrats, now you already have eight stamps on your loyalty card! One more dead husband, then the tenth is free!"

Long Left Arm...Please Help.

'Finally, an objective way to decide who to promote around here.'

"Not to worry mum - I've spotted us a Banksy!"

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

'Then the rich townies moved into the village.'

Fridge Magnate

"It's from the E.P.A. they say we have to have a non-smoking section."