Sassy Sippers T-Shirts

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

"A cheeky little wine, would you agree?"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

Baby it's cold outside.

Velvety. And so was the wine.

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

Gosh dern it, Cookie! Thanks to you the boys won't punch cattle without a frothy cup of yer Mesquite Caramel Cappuccino!

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

Happy hour.

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

Scariest Tactics

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

Nappy Hour 2-3.

Acme Instant Muscle Ade Machine

"Single malt scotches are good but I prefer regular old comfort booze."

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

The wine was fruity and quite lively.

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

Man battles for his life against 'A Very Lively Little Red'

"It says here that having a glass of wine is good for you."

"I'm a local craftsperson - I make money."

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

"Is the vodka fresh?"

Olde English Delicacies - Maypole Syrup.

"For those planning to post a nit-picking, fault-finding critique of us online, may I suggest out 'whine and dine' menu."

Tea Shop.

'Happy hour, drinks half price'

Watch out for this guy. Worse than passing bad checks, he asked for instant coffee and nondairy creamer.