Sarcophagus Admirer Pillows

'It says: 'Do not use if seal is broken'.'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

Scarecrows guarding a field

Wow, Ernie, another previously undiscovered tomb. And it has some unusual images. Is that a picture of the first sandwich? A thumbs up is next to it. The first "like"! Here's a drawing of a family and a heart has been added. The first emoji! This bird looks exactly like one we saw in the last tomb. The first retweet. Could this be the first social media? Yes! And this is how they scrolled!

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

"I've been at loose ends lately."

IMHOtep

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"Man, what I wouldn't do for one of those free-range meals right now."

"I'm the ghost of clumsy past."

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

Gone to Lunch.

'I don't want bread crumbs. I'd prefer some money to buy a cheeseburger.'

'Alas, poor Yorick. He couldn't handle the corporate culture.'

"I live in dread of being mistaken for an undersea energy cable."

"You get the french fries, I'll get his wallet."

Seagulls landing

'Is that some kind of a cruel joke? They're not dying, they're turning into Zombies!'

Postes Modernes

"Is everything to your satisfaction, Modom?"

A magician saws in half an octopus

"You know, lentils have twice as much protein per serving."

"Anyone home?"

Kangaroo in a plane.

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!

"Are you going to eat that?"

'You said to hurry, so we used amino acids instead of dust.'

Narcissist Cards

Flower drinking cola.

Idiots!