Sarcastic Sentiment Seeker T-Shirts

Cards: Get Well Get hit by a Bus

Hang In There, Baby!

German Expressionist Breakfast

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

'The Burrito King.'

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

Afraid of change - leave it here.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'I've got an exciting new assignment for you. You're going to share one salary.'

'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'

"You can't lose pal. For a small fee, you make huge commissions every time you sell those babies."

"Because you've been working so little, you can have the rest of your career here off."

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

The Olympic Booze-a-thon.

"No, I said go knock yourself out."

The guy who got in on the ground floor

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

"Oh, may I freshen your drink, Dr. Marshall?"

"I hate doing appraisals, it involves thinking about them."

"Sir, can I interest you in a luxury coffin?"

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street