Sarcastic Remark Lover Mugs

"Lemme guess: You forgot the basil Mom asked for, and my ice cream is in your briefcase?"

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

"I love these old decorations!"

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Have you got your make up on yet?

'It appears you've done a wonderful job...of not getting fired.'

Exit Next Left

"Great coffee, Carole."

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

'Does anyone else have any complaints?'