Sarcastic Animal Advocate Pillows

Honest Harry's Last Chance Pet Adoption...

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

dog vs UFO...

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

The Golfing Accident

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

"I have no thumbs."

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.