Santa's Real Estate Adventures Pillows

'Now before you get all upset, I got ten percent above market value.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

Santa Claus's Mail

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

High security Santa's grotto

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Santa CGI Effect

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

"I want a pony!"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'The owner plays in the NBA.'