Santa's Helpers Pillows

Santa's Jolly Ole Complaint Resolution Call Center

'While you're makin' a list and checkin' it twice, how about checkin' ID? Some of these ‘kids' are, like, in their 30s.'

Elf Improvement

Santa Bad Bad Kid

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

That one has all the batteries!

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

"Ho, ho, you're fired."

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

Santa's Helpers

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

The other days of the year...

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

"As I understand it, he has a whole other workshop in Hong Kong where they make all that electronic stuff."

"I'm like most people, I guess––a mixture of good and bad."

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

Santa Claus and the Snowman Cross Paths

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer had used to have a very shinysun-seekingtreacherouscharitablefame-seeking mobile nose

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

'Don't worry about your small handicap: Santa is an equal-opportunity employer: It will turn out fine...'

'My teacher was right about how many words you can make with just twenty six letters.'

Father Christmas deciding whether the Tory Party are naughty or nice.

For Crying Out Loud I Am Not Rudolph