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Flip Flops

'Do you think that's wise?'

'Where was the TSA?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

CCTV in church.

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

Shark tower surveillance camera.

Biro Security

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.

'Your father installed a security system.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

'Halt! User name and password.'

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."