Sample Snatchers Pillows

Meat. No, I have no idea what the heck you just shoved in your mouth, I'm giving away toothpicks. Free samples.

World Tour.

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I will give you the specimen some other time!"

Music downloads

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

The ambush.

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

Plants to Avoid - Creeping Wallenda

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

The Specimen Hunter

NEW FALL LINEUP

'I'm part of a double-blind study to see how weight loss supplements help people lose weight. I'm guessing I received the sugar pill placebos.'

'I wish you'd stop looking for specimens just once Arnold and admire the view!'

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

Hey Gus, I've managed to steal some crackers and some grapes too...

"SHEESH. What will it be like when I'm eighty?!"

"The face of the pear-shaped man reminded me of the mashed turnips that Aunt Mildred used to serve alongside the Thanksgiving turkey. As he got out of the strawberry-hued car, his immense fists looked like two slabs of slightly gnawed ham. He waddled over

'I was arrested for stealing too many artificial sweetener packets from restaurants.'

"Gimme a large cone with a sample of everything."

If I don't make a sound, he won't notice.

"You've passed me three times already. This is your last chance, buster, or I'm sending you straight to bed without your free samples."

"Install that, then uninstall that. Open that, then close that. Update that, then delete that. Run that program, then end that program..."

Aggressive grocery shopping

15 Second Grocery Delivery

"I can sell you the caulk, but there's a waiting period for the gun."

"Give me a large cone with a sample of everything on it."

"I demand you show something worth watching!"

Dog wearing Slippers

Plagiarism...