Salon Satirist Mugs

"This time lick my entire body."

"Well - you DID say you needed your hair cutting really badly . . !"

What price beauty?

'Have you any W fronts?'

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

Daniel Craig caricature

Phone Mittens

Toilet roll beauty tips.

Are these sessions as soul-deadening for you as they are for me, doctor? Let's not have a contest, Al. Or, if we do, no wagering.

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

'He managed to think himself into the box !'

"Welcome aboard, Withers. Now just go see Personnel on seven, and Pants on twelve."

"Watch yourself, stranger. I've got an itchy trigger finger."

Stay at home

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

'I know exactly what you mean...men are such hot heads!'

Home for the Holidays

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

Luke Warm & Over E-Z: The World's Blandest Rappers.

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.

Skinny model in wardrobe - 'Clothes hang better on skinny models.'

Old West Saloon Has Revolving Door Put In

"I'll only remove what's necessary...your gall bladder and the man bun."

Ugly sisters

Washing Massive Cup.

"Oh God, beards are so passe."

"Wingtips - this is a white collar gang."

The latest fall fashion trends

Holy cow. Holycow. Holycow. What? You won't believe the American hero coming to the cafe. Lady Gaga? Kanye? Elon Musk? A venture capitalist. Do I look greedy enough in this shirt? I weep.

"I own 60% of your image rights. Which means you have to pay me ten quid every time you look in the mirror."

'Let me know when you find it difficult to speak.'