Salon Chuckler Mugs

'I dunno. Looks like some kind of milking machine but she's wearing it all wrong.'

What price beauty?

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

"The cookies are always stale."

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

Shakespeare makes much ado about nothing.

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

"It's weeder's elbow."

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

Washing Massive Cup.

'Hey buddy, what happened to your hair?'

'Bless you!'

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

'I say we rendition the snow to Guantanamo!'

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

'Curses on historical perspective.'

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

What your acoustic guitar says about you

"No. I blew the interview when I sniffed the interviewer's behind."

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."